A very peculiar incident inspired this thought process of mine. A lot of things stirred up as I spotted something about myself not going in the right direction. Leaning on a new perspective, I escalated myself to actuating on this clause – “Human First!”
Our maid had finally showed up after 4 days of long wait. Those hours of reading between the lines of a hard news with a mug full of hot coffee and a little self-satisfying family talk had been inconveniently converted into hours of extreme self-service with absolutely unorganised work requirements. Like planets around the sun, thoughts of extreme anger and fury revolved in my mind the moment I saw that frowning face full of noticeable but better-to-ignore guilt. With so many questions to ask and so many answers to get, I couldn’t get over my bustling nerves and pounced on her like a thin-skinned predator. On seeing my vulnerable situation my son entered the conversation and rather than complimenting my to-be-understood situation, he asked the maid, “How are you?” After facing a catastrophic desert storm, she had suddenly landed onto soft, lush green grass. She was confused but now comfortable. Not just a cup of tea, he also offered her a sincere ear and tried to understand her health issues and her dis-ease. She was suffering from chronic cold and fever and was hospitalised. My eyes suddenly caught hold of things that had remained unnoticed till then. I noticed needle marks on her hand, her face was pallid, full of worry, she was weak, her gestures reflected apology. She narrated her story and fell into supplication. After a cup of tea and adequate motivation from my son, she stood up and started with her daily course.
In our daily lives, we often come across such situations wherein we treat people or perhaps identify them according to their designations, their social stature, their cast, creed, sex, nationality, financial status, etc and seldom identify them as HUMAN BEINGS. In this exempt, I wish to put light on exactly that. Our cultures and traditions, over time have perpetuated this strong essence of labelling human beings based on so many criteria. But do we have to give in to all that we’ve been exposed to? It is very important to note that we all are HUMANS First and everything else later. Our names, religions, designations, castes, occupations, attitudes, choices, lifestyles, everything come later. What comes first and should always come first is – WE ARE HUMANS.
My son, in the above mentioned episode, enacted exactly on that. He recognised the maid as a HUMAN FIRST, then as our maid. He rather simplified my course of communication or dialogue with her and several other people, in the long run. What he considered, consciously awakened a new phrase in my mind – “HUMANS FIRST”
One more incident to follow up on the same lines. I remember the day I was to meet my Boss regarding my official transfer. Although not low, but I was feeling quite nervous. Procrastination was Anxiety in disguise. I was worried, anxious and had my fingers-crossed. I didn’t want to relocate myself since relocation could have caused a lot of inconvenience in terms of everything, right from my very own routine, to that of my husband and most importantly my son who was a high school student then. My hubby noticed my dilemma. The reason to my dilemma was, I didn’t know how to represent myself and how to talk to my boss regarding the issue. I feared rejection and perhaps the frost of negative thoughts rose through my mind. Next morning at tea, my husband, opened the discussion and in a very friendly but elaborate manner handed over to me, the key to the quandary. He said, “Your boss will certainly understand your situation if you explain it to him. He is a HUMAN FIRST. Then he is your boss. He will surely understand you as a human being. Always remember, whenever you are in any such situation, always think of the other person as a HUMAN FIRST and everything else follows. His designation, his education, his social stature, or any other factor, doesn’t take away his natural instinct of being a HUMAN First!” My Husband was right and made me think over what he had said. This gave rise to great confidence in me and drove away all the nervousness of facing my boss. Rather, I was there to present my side to a HUMAN.
Mom is undoubtedly mom, but while paying attention to her undesired behavioural aspects, she is a HUMAN FIRST. My son is brilliant in his work, but when he commits a mistake, rather than only guilty, he is a HUMAN FIRST. My Husband needs to get his personal space and live life his way, because before my Husband, he is a HUMAN FIRST. My Friends, rather than the busy, unorganised, hustle-bustle goers, are HUMANS FIRST. My Boss, before the identity that his designation gives him, is a HUMAN FIRST. This breakthrough of understanding everybody as HUMAN FIRST, helped me understand relations to a new extent altogether and made me connect with them faster than ever before.
So what are you HUMANS upto? Are you ready to understand people and various relationships on an escalated level altogether? Install this software of looking at people as HUMANS FIRST and then putting in all other parameters. Because you are a HUMAN FIRST and then a WINNER!
Authored by Mrs Anjali Deshpande, Mumbai. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org